The sun had finally set behind the mountain and I too had to give it up for the day.
My weary, pink muck boot wearing feet sat down on the blanket and I breathed in the first relaxed breath I had taken today, maybe this week.
Maybe this month.
We had packed an impromptu picnic of ham sandwiches and watermelon and had decided to go out by the new barn for some much needed quiet time.
I did manage to sneak this photo as the smallest bit of light still spilled over the mountain in the distance.
What I couldn't capture was the field full of lightning bugs dancing behind us.
Or the glow of a nearby town and the cows grazing on the hill.
I couldn't capture how many hopes and dreams and sleepless nights are held in the frame of this red barn on the hill.
As we sat in the damp air of this July night, I thought about the future. I thought about the past.
I took a deep breath and remembered how this hillside looked 2,190 days ago when the evening light was just right and my love was down on one knee.
All those plans I had.
How I learned they weren't my plans to have.
You see, I haven't accomplished all my goals.
Maybe I never will.
But if I have learned anything in the years I have been given, it is that nothing is in our control.
I must be honest. I have had an unexpected couple of weeks.
They didn't add up like I thought they would.
They didn't go according to my plans.
I can't make the barn be done on time or make all of our animals stay healthy.
I can't make it rain when we need it or save that new calf that was backwards.
I can't avoid walking in that valley while wishing I could have just stayed on the mountain.
And though I can't make the plans, I can keep looking forward to tomorrow knowing that His plans are far better than mine.
Just look at all these moments I might have missed....
|A still evening|
|Porch with Papaw|
|Picnic with my buddies|
|Dinner at the new barn|
|Farmgirls need Starbucks too!|
|Late night grocery shopping|
"Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes."