Found

I heard a faint rumble in the distance as I arrived back at the dairy this afternoon. I had spent the rainy afternoon wandering up and down the aisles of Lowe's, dreaming up visions of what our new barn office will look like. And they thought I was harmless with a credit card. 

The sun had peeked out for a while as I was driving back to the farm, but it was short lived.  I walked into the calf barn barn just as the sky opened up. As the rain pounded the unweathered roof, I breathed in a sigh of relief to see all those sweet little faces. 

You see, today I found something I never realized I had lost.

That feeling I had forgotten how to feel.

Let me start at the beginning;

On the day they are born I often find myself talking to them.

I tell them I will take care of them. And I mean it.

As they lay there, wet and wiggly, I look at them with amusement, with wonder.

Each one different, each one is unique.

All entrusted to my care.

There is an unspoken loyalty farmers have to their animals that no words can describe.

A loyalty to do the hard work, to stay through the night, to not give up.

But somewhere along the way, this promise had begun to pull heavy on me.

I still loved them all the same, but I had lost the wonder.

The roaring in my head was so loud, I had not even heard it leave.

A midst the endless buckets and bottles and washing and hurrying, calf feeding had turned into a job.

As guilty as I felt about it, I started to dread when a new one was born.

I had turned into a me I had never wanted to become.

On February 24, 2014 a few anxious people moved a lot of eager calves into a new barn. 

We had diligently planned for it and had high hopes for what it would mean for our farm.

And in the 63 days since, something wonderful has crept back into my life.

A love for the job I was always meant to do.

And a little time to spend with the ones I love.

The Extra Mile

"It's never crowded along the extra mile."

Wayne Dyer

I am so fond of the quote above that I have it as the background on my phone. 

I have found great encouragement in it on days that seemed to never end.

I am discovering farm life has a way of nudging you to keep going,

 one more hour, one more mile.

To work your hardest in rain or shine,

 Monday nights or Saturday mornings.

Nudging you...

To walk the road before you

To rest when you are tired

To find laughter in the ordinary

To accept the bad hair days

To treat yourself once in a while

To be tough

To be thankful

To surround yourself with love

And to breathe in the beauty of it all

While it hasn't always been easy, I have come to greatly appreciate

 the lessons I have learned while traveling the extra mile. 

I hope to see you all along the way.

Unexpected

Have you ever had those unexpected moments?
The ones that catch you a bit off guard.
They stick in your memory and make you remember that life has to be taken in stride.

Sometimes you walk out the door on the first day of spring and are taken back by the sprigs of green that have appeared from a barren ground. 

Sometimes you eat birthday cake for breakfast. It just so happens that someone I am very fond of has a birthday on the first day of Spring. What more cause do you need to celebrate?

Sometimes calves do the darnedest things.

 

Sometimes you find a tiny treasure.

And sometimes you treasure tiny moments.

I didn't expect for these babies to love me.

Or these girls to look so regal.

I didn't expect to sit for hours with a sick calf instead of sitting in church

Or to have a pint sized girl that was determined to beat the odds.

Whether good or bad, farming provides many unexpected moments. It's a constant surprise of sorts.

I have found that everyday provides new reasons to smile and new reasons to pray.

Nothing is definite. Nothing is permanent.

Not always good. Not always bad.

But always worth it.